"Said the raven to the gunner..." (Raven & Jayda)

Jayda Kinneas was in a rare mood. She was in a foul mood.....


At the moment, she stood within the training center of Balamb Garden, and scowling deeply at her now worthless pistol. She let out a long heavy sigh as the wave of worthlessness washed over her, because deep down, Jayda knew it wasn't the weapon. It was herself. Her aim had just gone plum terrible of late, and no matter how hard, or how often she trained, Jayda found herself simply getting worse at what was once her best skill.


"Miss Jayda? Did you still wish to proceed with the program?" The voice sounded rather compassionate over the intercom, as if the programmer within the observation room sensed her plight.


Jayda simply shook her head slowly, with her back still facing the room over head. Instead, she decided to venture further into the center where the "hidden room" was located to the left of the path to find some solitude and privacy with her woes. She knew people expected her to be her usual cheerful self, so hopefully some time on the balcony could help her reflect on more cheerful things in hopes to improve her mood before venturing back out to world again.

Raven watched from the observation booth as Jayda fought her way through the different tiers of the training center. He liked to come here and watch others as they went through the waves of monsters. Not only did it allow him to see how each person reacted and fought, but also allowed him to pick up a few things that he may be able to use in battle himself. This was especially true when watching Jayda. Her use of guns and sweet personality usually gave Raven a few pointers of how not to be such a brute in battle.

But today was different. Jayda seemed distracted and frustrated. It showed in the way she moved through the field and in her aim. She stood glaring at her pistol when the round ended and the training simulator operator leaned into the microphone and asked if she wanted to continue. Glancing at the machine, Raven noticed that she had only completed three rounds. When Jayda nodded that she didn’t want to continue, Raven watched as her shoulders slumped and she walked off towards the hidden place.

Raven walked out of the room and down to the training center. As he walked into the training center, he glanced up to the operating booth and waved off the man there, he didn’t want a training session. He walked through the small hidden doorway that led out onto the balcony and stepped into the sun. The sun was just starting to set when he saw Jayda standing at the balcony, staring out onto the Garden. Raven stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her, not knowing what to do next. He never was very good at the emotional crap and with Jayda, everything seemed to end up that way. It wasn’t a bad thing; she just had a way of making a person opening up. Alright dummy, you already committed to helping her by coming down here, just do something and try to help her out.

Raven walked up next to her and looked out onto the view. The sun was just starting to go down over the horizon as he searched for the words he wanted to say. Finally, he turned to her and said, ”Well, that wasn’t the show I paid to see. I was expecting the usual kick-ass gunslinger that tore through the simulator faster than I ever could. You want to tell me what’s going on?”

Normally, Jayda would take delight in the most simplest things, such as the pleasant breeze passing around her and even bringing her bright auburn hair to tickle her nose. But today, even with such a tranquil and beautiful scene before her, and a glorious sunset beginning to paint the sky, Jayda felt nothing more than her saddened heart. Now leaning her crossed forearms against the railing, her gaze took in nothing soothing due to her thoughts consuming her attentions. Her pistol hung loosely from her fingers as if she forgot it was even there. She knew deep down what was wrong no matter how hard Jayda struggled to keep the truth from surfacing through her fake facade of giddiness and high spirits.


With a heavy sigh, she was suddenly startled by the voice disrupting her thoughts and flinched with surprise as she straightened herself and now found herself face to face with Raven. The rush of embarrassment heated her cheeks as her eyes shifted nervously about in hopes that her face wasn't glowing red as it often did when she found herself flustered. She wasn't surprised to hear his confession of observation. The both shared a common beloved skill which also aided to their quick friendship. But she never expected Raven to follow her, or inquire about her troubles. True, his nature resembled much of Shade's own reclusive nature, but Raven appeared to be a bit more hard core than his sister. Still, Jayda wasn't one to be rude...


Now leaning her back against the railing, Jayda still couldn't bring her gray blue eyes to meet him as she now found her fingers fidgeting nervously with the pistol in her hand. The barrel was still warm form it's previous use, but offered little comfort to her self pity. She swallowed hard and blinked a few times before trying to speak. "Ah ain't one fer pity, Raven.... ya shuld know that bah now.... Ah dew mah best, tryin' tah keep more positive than most...." Her head turned away a bit as she felt her frustrations mounting again, but she refused to shed a tear. Especially in front of Raven. "But ya gotta fergive meh sumtimes.... call it self pity.... call it jealousy... call it whut ya lahyk, Ah dun care anymore..."


Finally, Jayda forced her head back with a deep breath and looked back at him with her voice cracking through her calm composure. "Evr'yones geyttin' their miracles, Raven. Since we've com back.... Ah've gotten tah see Shade of all people.... who nev'r once dared tah hope fer anythin' in 'er liahf....com tah find she's gawt yew... a bruther, an' tew lil' one's tah boot! A family she ain't once ev'r once hoped fer! An' Brixxy.... who ev'ry day swore she'd see 'er daddy again one day at least geyts her best friend Simon as yet anuther sign o' hope 'er own dreams will com true..." She paused again, feeling that wave of disgust with herself for spilling out the truth, but it had been so long! And Jayda realized she now even growing physically sick from it.

"I jus' want mah turn, Raven.... I jus wan mah own bruther back.... we tried tah find 'im, came damn near close once...but... " Yet another possibility still remained that Jayda never voiced out loud before, but chose to now with a softened voice. "Ev'n iffin he's not alahve, jus the knowin' of the truth may be the closure I need... I jus can't move on anymore aft'r tew long damn years o' knowin' nuthin'...."
There. She said it. Pitiful little Jayda was whining about her own wants and needs, and now Raven would see the absolute fool she felt like she was for sounding so selfish.

Raven kept his face straight when Jayda blushed and fidgeted. While he wanted nothing more than to smirk at the sight, he knew that doing so probably wouldn’t make Jayda feel any better. Considering Raven had never seen Jayda down in the dumps like this, he really didn’t want to do that. He knew how much she worked at staying optimistic, but everyone needed a time to cry. Even he had broken down and cried when he thought he lost his family, though he never allowed anyone to see it. If he had he probably would have killed the person if they ever mentioned it.

But Jayda didn’t seem like she was going to cry. She seemed more like she just needed to vent. So Raven stood there, leaning on the railing, and listened to her. He watched her every shift in emotion and even though she wouldn’t look him in the eyes, he could tell she wasn’t doing too well. As she spoke about Shade finding him and his children, Raven winced slightly. He knew it wasn’t meant as a jab, Jayda never made jabs at people; she was just using him as an example. But Raven still felt a slight guilt for making her feel bad.

She talked about finding her brother and Raven nodded. He was there when they had almost found him the last time. He knew what it was like to lose someone, but not quite what it was like for the unknown. He couldn’t fathom what Jayda was going through. He was a wreck when he found out there was a chance his family were still alive, he couldn’t grasp the concept of feeling that way for every day for over two years.

He stared at her for a moment after the wash of information. She still seemed frazzled but less tense. It was like she had been a dam and all the information was water building up inside her. When she spoke she became calmer and calmer. Raven took a moment to think over how he was going to go about this venting.

”Jayda… If you didn’t want to talk to me all you had to do was say so…” Raven kept his face straight just long enough to see her reaction, before letting a smirk curl then corners of his mouth upward, letting her know he was joking with her. Raven stood up and walked in front of her. ”Jayda, I don’t know Vex at all, never met the guy, but if he is who Shade and Brix say he is, he can’t be dead because not even death would keep him from fighting his way to you. You’ll find him; just give it a bit more time. I’ll even promise to do whatever it takes to help you out.”

Raven began back peddling towards the door leading back into the training center. He reached down to his holster and pulled out his pistol before waving it in the air and saying, ”And in the mean time… you can show me how to shoot better. Shade’s always telling me how you can out shoot me with ease.”

Now at first, for just a split second, Jayda blinked in shock by Raven's first statement. Her hazel eyes shot wide as she jerked her head to look up at him again, to then catch that sneaky little smirk on his face. Her more playful one appeared as she acted as if she were about to slap his arm. "Darn yew, Raven! Yew geyt a kick outta muddlin' mah head, don' yew..." Thing was, it worked to bring back her smile anyway.

It was also why Jayda didn't feel so swamped with gloom again when he spoke of her brother. And he had the same determination in his voice just as Shade did when she made the promise too. Jayda did hold onto that hope and belief, there was just days when it hurt so much... sometimes too much for her to bear. But she was reminded yet again that she was surrounded by friends who would see her through the waiting and do anything in their power to help her. It may have been a simple talk on the outside, but just Raven's brief optimism and encouragement was all Jayda needed to find herself again.


So with a deep breath breath, Jayda pushed away from the balcony railing and shuffled her feet forward as Raven backstepped back into the training center. She gave him a sweet smile, yet rolled her eyes at his comment. "Oh shoosh, you.... Shade's all ov'r exag'ratin'. Mah skill 'ave turned tah plum squat! Whay I can't ev'n remember the last tyme Ah shot anythin' other than a toadstool!" She shoulder bumped him on purpose with a chuckle as she passed by and headed into the center, but then paused for a moment to look back at him. Her smile was weak, but her eyes and words were genuine. "Thank ya, Raven.... an' Ah promise, Ah won't tell nobuddy 'bout yew bein' nice an' all" With that vow assured, Jayda lead the way back in hopes for a better practice.

Raven smiled as Jayda shoved her shoulder into his chest. As it was done, Raven let out an audible but clearly faked oompf followed by, "You have got to stop hanging out with Shade so much. She's starting to rub off on you." Raven followed her down the short hall toward the training center.

When she turned around, though, Raven had a bitter sweet moment. Though her words and eyes seemed to mean what they said, he could still tell she wasn't quite right underneath it all. Not being used to dealing with people this way, Raven was all tapped out for ideas on how to help. So instead, he figured he would just have her do what he did when times were bad... blow crap up.

But Raven stopped mid step when he heard her finish her sentence. He didn't really see this as being nice, just helping out a friend, but if she wanted to see it as that, he would let her. He caught up with her and pushed her hat down over her eyes before walking into the training center and saying, "You better not, I have a reputation to up hold."

He walked to the center of the room and looked up at the operations window. He could see the man move over to the microphone as Raven looked at him, waiting. "Mr. Raven? what program would you like run?"

Raven thought about it for a moment. He went back and forth in his mind, trying to decide between fighting a monster that was tough to kill but easy to hit or an easily killed opponent but very fast. But Raven thought back to when he was in the observation room. Looking over the operator's shoulder, he had seen all the programs, one of which was named "Shade's Sim". Of course, Raven's curiosity got the better of him. "Run 'Shade's Sim'."

Raven could see the man move around the room, working on multiple computers before he came back to the microphone and said, "As you wish, simulation is loading now."

Raven turned to see ten trees appear at the far end of the room. He raised an eye-brow as something stirred within the branches. After a moment, and nothing had happened, Raven picked up a rock off the ground and chucked it at the tree. As the rock collided, a swarming black cloud darted out of the tree. The swarm flew around in circles before settling down on the ground between Raven and the trees. Raven let out a sigh and shook his head when he saw what the swarm really was. Each individual member of the swarm was a small black raven. Raven looked over at Jayda and said, "Well... have at it."

Jayda let out a soft shriek of surprise and a faint giggle when her hat slumped over her eyes, simply grateful for the fact that her merriment was genuine again. With a bounce back in her step, she followed behind Raven, feeling her determination slowly return and began to reload her weapon as she casually walked back into the training center. Now standing beside him, Jayda simply looked back and forth at Raven and the SeeD cadet within the observation tower. Shade's sim? Oh heavens no.... whatever Shade's simulation contained had to be rather hard.... a challenge Jayda was most likely not ready for... something far too difficult for a little ol' gunner like herself to take on....

But with a sigh and a low groan, Jayda heard the cadet confirm Raven's request as she slid him a quick scowl before he turned, only to swiftly swipe it away before Raven would see it across her face. Hearing an odd noise, Jayda's head turned this way and that, and she was about ready to curse at him for this when the source revealed itself. Jayda's hazel eyes widened as she gawked at the sight for a moment, momentarily struck with disbelief. Birds? Actual flocks of... ravens? Her head slowly turned back at her gunner companion with a rather comical expression of confusion. "Ya dew realyze.... yew an' Shadey gawt sum issues!" One of her arms lifted to point her pistol at the swarming flocks while still staring up at Raven. "Ah mean.... thys jus' ain't ryght!! Ah'd sure hate tah see whut YER simulashun is!"


Just as last few words escaped Jayda, the swarming flock of black birds erupted with shrieking caws that she never expected, and they startled her so bad her finger instinctively twitched against the trigger of the gun to release several rounds into the air, which then startled Jayda again with a shriek of alarm as she jumped at least a foot into the air before regaining control of herself and blushing profusely out of embarrassment.

Raven's lips flattened into a hard line when Jayda mentioned how she would hate to see what his simulation was, not because the thought that he would have something equally comical to get back at Shade, but because in fact he didn't. His simulation was a serious one. But now that she mentioned it, Raven was going to have to come up with something. But he could't let Jayda know that, so he smirked and said, "You're right... you probably wouldn't."

But all of a sudden, the birds took off again, flying around the room. Raven didn't even flinch at the swarming flock with all it's shrieking. Jayda didn't seem to have that luxory. Her hand snapped up and began firing rapidly at the birds. She herself seemed to jump at the sound of her own pistol going off, like she wasn't expecting it at all. All the ravens flew straight over their heads, unscathed and landed on a set of trees on the other side of the room. Raven raised an eye-brow and tried to hide the fact that he was so close to bursting out in laughter. "Well... you've effectively caused all those birds to shit bricks, and possibly yourself too by the looks of it. But lets try again."

Raven walked over to her, ignoring the blushing of embarressment and pulled the pistol out of her hand. Drawing his own, he placed it in her hands. "Let's start a little smaller... This gun will have a little less of a kick, plus it won't be as loud nor have a muzzle flash."

He looked up at the trees and saw the biggest, meanest looking raven perched at the very top of the tallest tree. It hadd to be a good hudred yards from where they were. An impossible shot with a pistol, but Raven knew better. He knew Jayda could do it. So he pointed to it and said, "We'll start off easy... How about you try and take that one off the top branch. It'll be easy, I can take that shot with my eyes closed."

In reality, Raven probably couldn't even make the shot with the pistol with his eyes open.

Jayda bit down on her bottom lip as Raven introduced her to a smaller weapon than what she was using. She tried to shake off the small pang of pride, when taking it into her hand with a nod. A sigh of frustration escaped her as she shook her head slightly and began to ramble off again. "Ya know... maybe that's mah prob'lm... Ah'mmah trin' tew hard an' tew fast tah geyt back intah the swing o' things..."

As she pondered over the thoughts, her hand casually tossed the gun about in a casual waving manner, but always careful not to point at it him as she spoke. Surprisingly, the gun fired a round into the air as she spoke, yet Jayda carried on her conversation as if she didn't even notice. Nor did she bother to look and see the appointed bird was struck, and let out one shriek of squawk before soaring dead to the ground.

"Lordee, itz been so long since Ah been on the battle field... itz ah wond'r Ah can even shoot straight!" The flock of ravens had already dispersed from the previous gun fire, and were screeching up a storm while flapping through the air. Jayda rolled her eyes in annoyance, and shook her head while still looking at Raven and ranting a bit. "Now Ah know yew's jus' bein' nyice an' all Raven..." The gun in her hand flopped about with her hand motions as she talked, occasionally firing, but with the appearance of taking no aim or purpose to a target. More bird screeching followed, with an occasional thunkthunkthunk to the ground.

"Ya ain't gotta suger coat nuthin' fer meh, darlin'. Ev'n Shade wuld be up an' blunt tah tell meh how much Ah suk lately..." Another BANG! BANG! followed from the handgun as she went on talking without a single pause of flinch. "Whay, Brixxy wuld tell meh darn outright I suk worse than shottin' a target as big as a WHALE iffin' it were ryight in front o' meh!" BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Ah well.... practicin' makes perfect, Ah'mma guessin'" She sighed a little sigh then crossed her arms, oblivious to all the dead ravens lying upon the ground around them.

Raven watched Jayda with a straight face as she went on rambling. He could tell out of the corners of his eyes that she was taking down each and every bird with ease, but he didn't want to stop her by breaking her attention, not when she was doing so well. Occasionally nodding to her, Raven couldn't believe what he was seeing, she was actually taking them all out without even looking. The bird frantically flew around as she fired, trying to find some place safe from her gun, but they all fell, one by one.

When she finally finished and all the bird lay strewn across the ground, Raven gave a slight frown and began to walk towards the closest one, saying, "You're right, your terrible." Picking up the dead bird and inspecting where she shot him through where his tiny heart was, he continued, "I mean, just ask this guy. He'll tell you how bad you are..."

Tossing the bird off to the side, he held his arms outstretched and spun in a circle saying, "Or any of these guys. They'll be the first in line to tell you how much you suck."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Raven made his way back to Jayda. "Jayda, listen to me, you don't suck. I would be even worse than Shade and Brix if that were the case, and you know that. No, Jayda, you don't suck. You are just letting all of your emotions and thoughts get in the way. You know why everyone thinks I'm a cold asshole? Because when I'm on a mission, I am. I push all of those extra thoughts out of the way and focus on the task at hand."

He stared at her, knowing her for who she is, that was impossible to ask of her. Taking a moment to think his next word through carefully, Raven spoke, "I'm not asking you to change who you are, I'm just asking you to let some of these things that have you so worked up go. If you let go, you will feel so much better, and even though you are letting go, it doesn't mean that it will never happen."

Jayda blinked all surprised and confused at the dead ravens spread all across the ground. What just happened?! She was simply firing to let off steam! She did this?? After blinking in disbelief at all the dead birds several times, Jayda was finally able to raise her widened gaze of shock back to Raven....who seemed to find sarcastic amusement out of the whole ordeal.... and now she felt embarrassed because she just made an absolute liar out of herself.


By the time Raven walked back and stood before her again, she was biting on her bottom lip with a sheepish expression across her face, now holding the pistol behind her back with both hands. She wasn't expecting him to sound supportive. Raven was renown for being cynical and hard core serious with just about everything. Although his advice beheld truth, Jayda grew a bit frustrated. "Ah know wut yer sayin' is righ', Raven. Ah really dew... an' Ah've really tried! Beleeve, meh! Ah have!"


She ventured over to a pair of dead birds sprawled across across the ground that were now disintegrating from view now that the simulation program was over. Her arms crossed over chest with a faint huff before she turned back around to face him again. "Seems mah prob'lm is, Ah don' have a knack fer flippin' on an' off layk a switch the way yew an' Shade, an' ev'ryone else can."


So he would further understand her dilemma, Jayda knew she had to make a confession. Her arms uncrossed and swung out to motion at all the disappearing ravens spread across the floor as she spoke with defeat in her tone. "This? I n'vr ev'n tried or aimed! Ah wuz jus' pullin' the trigger tah let off sum steam! But when I DEW try, Ah can't ev'n seem tah hit a terd!" Her choice of words may have seemed amusing, but the look of aggravation in her eyes was true.

Raven kept a calm expressionless face on as Jayda spoke. He believed her that she tried before, Jayda wasn't one to lie to anyone, but he didn't believe that she was a lost cause. He knew there was a way to persuade her back into the swing of things, Raven just had to find it. Jayda was one who was fueled by her emotions, even if she wouldn't admit it. She'll keep the cheery face on for everybody, but if something was bothering her one would just have to look to her body language to find the truth. He had to find a way to make that work.

Ignoring her last comment even though it was comical, Raven walked toward the operator's booth and said to her, "Fine. If you don't think you can do it, then we'll just have to find a way to make you better."

Raven walked out of the simulation chamber and into the operation's booth. The blonde SeeD student was sitting in her chair with a bored expression on her face. Apparently she had something better to do than help out a better student. Raven walked in and barked, "Does this hook into the mainframe?"

The girl snapped up in her seat and scrambled to look like she was actually doing something productive. "Uh... Yes... Yes, Sir."

Raven nodded and moved to the computer to load his personal files. "Run program eleven with this..." he showed her a picture of a young man, "as the VIP."

The girl frantically started typing away at the computer as Raven walked back out of the booth and into the simulation room. As he approached Jayda, the room around them changed from the forest into a hilly plain. They stood on top of one such hill and off in the distance was a building. The building had to be at least 1000 meters away.

Raven reluctantly pulled the Grievance off of his back and held it out to Jayda to take. "Be careful, it has a bit of a kick. I want you to look at that building. in one of the windows should be two men. One is going to be holding a gun to the other's and using him as a human shield. You have to hit the man with the gun. Your target area is about half of his face, which means if you are off just a little bit, there is a chance of you hitting the hostage. Jayda, you have one shot. If you miss the hostage will be killed and you don't want that to happen."

What Jayda didn't know at that time, though, was that the hostage was Vex...

Jayda stood and watched Raven walk away with a perplexed expression over her face. Her first thought to his words were that he was going to find her a more suitable weapon. Yet she blinked in surprise when watching him return to the operations booth to simply requested a program change.


As her surroundings slowly changed, Jayda spun about on the heel of her cowboy boots with widened eyes. A meadow? How was this supposed to help. Then her hues caught sight of the lonely structure a good distance away. Not knowing exactly what her target was meant to be just yet, she easily assumed the shack looking building had something to do with what ever Raven had in mind. While studying the building and distance, Raven suddenly reappeared beside her, but what Jayda wasn't ready for was him handing her his own gun. Knowing what parts were infused into the weapon, her hand was momentarily hesitant to even take it.


While looking down at the make shift rifle in her hands, she listened to Raven carefully with a slow nod before taking in a slow, deep breath only to release it from her lungs just the same. She didn't have much experience in sniper shots to begin with, but it was worth a try she guessed. Perhaps this was Raven's way of starting her out slow and simple before working up to more extensive multiple targets where she would have to aim on purpose.


With uncertainty over her brow, Jayda reluctantly raised the Grievance while lowering her face with a tilt of her head to search her target through the scope. It only took a second or two for her vision to adjust while shifting the weapon slightly until she found the window. What she saw beyond that sent a jolt of shock through her chest that nearly caused her to lurch and scream. Her mind frantically scrambled through the panic to remind her that this was a hologram and not her real brother. But what if the day would come where they finally found Vex and such an aim was adamant to his survival? There would be no room for mistakes.... not even a centimeter....


.....Be careful, it has a bit of a kick


And so did her nerves.....


With another slow, calming breath, Jayda carefully lowered herself to kneel on one knee in order to rest her elbow upon it to help settle the trembling through her muscles. Instead of allowing her chaotic thoughts to distract her aim, Jayda concentrated on her pounding heart rate, forcing her mind to count each beat in order to focus and calm herself. As her heart rate now matched the steady pace of her breathing, she finally felt her pulse gently coursing through her fingertip. Her finger gave the softest of taps against the trigger to each beat as her eye squinted slightly and centered on the singular chosen mark of her target. Her mind and vision completely shut Vex away as Jayda concentrated on the assailant's iris glaring back at her until finally, she counted down.... three *tap*....two *tap*.... one


The resounding BANG! echoed loudly throughout the air, and sure enough, the kick lurched back against Jayda's shoulder, but she was prepared for the brunt of it. She brought the scope back just in time to see her target with half of his entire face blown off before dropping out of view into a heap of limbs upon the floor with Vex left with blood splattered across the side of his own face, yet completely unharmed. Now lowering the weapon, Jayda slowly rose up to stand with what appeared to be an expression of defeat etched across her face.


She understood why Raven did what he did, but that didn't mean Jayda easily accepted his reasons. She turned and only lifted her head enough for her eyes to be seen just below the rim of her hat before she slammed his Grievance hard against his chest without a single word.

Raven watched Jayda as she grabbed the rifle and brought the scope up to her eye. He cringed slightly whe it became obvious that she saw who the hostage was. He didn't like doing this to Jayda, especially not Jayda, but he didn't know another way for him to help her. If she was to get over this she needed to do one of two things, get mad at something or not allow her fear to control her. He hoped she found solace in the second choice, because if not the only likely candidate for her anger would be himself. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

Raven watched silently as Jayda fought for control over her own body against the fear. She took a knee and slowly but surely got herself under control. He could see her struggling with the task he gave her and for a moment, Raven regretted it. Maybe it was too much for her at that time, but then again, she had to get over it sometime. He remained silent as she lowered herself into a rhythm and brought her breathing under control. He could think through her process in his head: Slow down the heart, control the breathing, and create a rhythm. Finally, the rifle cracked and the world went silent. The whole room was holding it's breathe as Raven waited for confirmation of the kill.

A moment later, Jayda stood up with the most depressing look on her face. The expression looked out of place on her usually smiling demeanor and it was in that moment that Raven realized he had gone too far. The simulation faded away and a green light was shown shining from the ceiling, signaling that the simulation was completed successfully. A confused look crossed Raven's face as Jayda picked herself up and shoved his rifle into his chest. She had completed the simulation flawlessly, yet she was still upset with her performance? Raven was at a loss as to what to do.

Jayda turned to walk away and Raven reached out to her, grabbing her wrist and spinning her around. He tilted her head up to look at him gently by grabbing her chin and pushed the hat back out of her eyes. He stared into those hazel eyes and said, Jayda... I'm... I'm sorry I did that. I just didn't know how else to get you through this slump of yours. I know I crossed a line there and I hope you will forgive me... I... I just don't know..."

She didn't mean to give the impression that she was upset with Raven. In truth, Jayda held his bold approach to her plight with high regard. She just needed a moment to collect herself and assure her confidence that she wouldn't break down in a heap of tears right in front of him. She didn't need personal embarrassment on top of an emotional breakdown. Her usual high spirited demeanor was just completely out of its element, and inexperienced at the receiving end of moral support when it was Jayda always the one giving it to others instead.


And now, looking up and seeing the forlorn expression across Raven's face, and hearing the sad tone within his apologetic words, Jayda felt guilty as hell for worrying him in such a way when all he was trying to do was help her in the only way he knew how. She bit her bottom lip out of frustration of herself before giving her head a slight shake while raising her hand and removing her hat to slap it lightly against the side of her leg. "Aw now Raven.... don' be 'pologizin'....." She looked up at him again with a heavy sigh, yet tried her best to smile. "It ain't yew Ah'm all upset ov'r. It's me.... "


With a tilt of her head, she gave a nervous scratch to her hair as her hues glanced in the direction where the shack once was. "Whut bother'd me was havin' tah block Vex from mah mind all togeth'r, ya know? Ah know we're supps'd to dew that to get the shot, Raven.... Ah know that! But..... it jus' feels like.... "


She sighed again and glanced at the ground before forcing herself to meet Raven's gaze again. "How dew ya separate yer heart at the flip ov'ah switch when it matters? Whut if there's no tiym tah calm yerself.... when a split second iz all ya gawt?"

Raven just about breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Jayda say she wasn't mad at him. There were only a handful of people in this crazy universe that he couldn't stand being upset with him and she was one of them. Her sweet and cheerful disposition made it impossible for anyone who wasn't pure evil not to feel the same. But Raven made sure not to actually sigh, he didn't want to let it show that he was actually soft on the inside.

Jayda looked away from him and began scratching the back of her head nervously. As she spoke, Raven listened. If he was going to help her get over this, he needed to know what it was holding her back. He gave a slow nod when she spoke of her inability to block her brother out. He knew the feeling. It turned his stomach inside out when he had to block the ones he had cared about out of his mind when on a mission, but the problem was that if he didn't, he would be thinking about them all the time which is dangerous to him and them.

Raven took a deep breath in when Jayda asked her question. He really didn't know where to begin. He nervously grabbed at his zippo in his pocket for strength, but it didn't help. Finally, he nodded to her and said, "Alright, I'll tell you how, but not here. Let's go back out on the balcony."

Raven walked back down the short hallway leading to the balcony and stepped back outside into the crisp night air. By this time, the sun had finally kissed the earth and was almost completely down over the horizon. He slowly walked over to the balcony and stared at the few stars that were beginning to make themselves visible in the evening sky for a moment. Eventually, he let his gaze fall back down to Jayda and he sighed.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Jayda," he said while he leaned on the railing. He reached again for his zippo and cigarettes out of instincts, but caught himself short. "There really isn't a switch."

He thought back to each and every mission that he had gone through and walked himself through his own process of shutting things off. He looked down for a moment, trying to put the words he wanted to say in a coherent sentence that made sense to Jayda. Finally, he looked back up to her and said, "When.. uhh... when we were trained in PSI-COM special forces, they drilled us and drilled us on not having any attachment to anyone. Attachment was seen as a weakness in their eyes. Just another way the enemy could hurt you. And to an extent, they were right and I got burned because of it, but I didn't let that stop me. I continued on because that was who I was. I never turned back, I only moved forward."

"But I never did learn to turn in all off in the blink of an eye and I still can't. I don't believe that is really any person should be. The only people who I know who can do that flawlessly are so callous and cruel, nothing will phase them. That philosophy doesn't fly with me. I believe you have to have something that you are attached to. Be it a brother or a family or, heck, even a favorite trinket. You have to have something you are willing to fight for. If you don't, you just become a mindless drone."

"The problem is, finding the right reason. If you fight for something that makes you mad, you won't be rational when you think of it and it will cause you to make mistakes. If you choose something that makes you sad, you become drowned in misery and once again make mistakes. The only true reason I have found to work is hope. So long as you are hopeful about whatever you are fighting for, your spirit will help you through it."

Raven reached down and quickly grabbed his lighter and cigarettes and lit one up without even realizing it. He shook his head and said, "Shit... look at me blabbering like an idiot."

Her question seemed to puzzle Raven at first, but with a silent nod, Jayda agreed and followed him quietly back to the hidden room so they could talk over her problematic issue. Once upon the balcony, Jayda began to second guess herself and the questions she laid upon Raven due to his momentary silence and long sigh. For a split second, she actually worried if she were trying on poor Raven's patience by sounding so whiny. Then her head tilted with a slight hint of confusion etched across her innocent face by his first words.


As she pondered over them for a second or two, Raven went on to explain. But Jayda soon came to realize that it wasn't just what all Raven had said. It was the fact that Raven said.... A LOT! To hear how he was strictly trained reminded Jayda of her own, yet it wasn't as fierce as Raven described. Her own training was hard core enough due to the SeeD program having to abruptly adjust to the world wide threat of the Fringe, but it was a constant adjustment to their enemy changing tactics and technology at any given time. Most likely, SeeD teams arrived upon their missions too late to save anyone, sent only to drive the Fringe off from their next appointed target. But she found herself releasing a slow sigh of relief as Raven went on to explain that "flipping a switch" wasn't the key at all, nor would she want to be like someone who be such a way.


To actually keep in mind what one cared about, be a person or a purpose made perfect sense, and what Jayda would much prefer to do. It was the emotions those particular thoughts would rise up that made her fumble, as if it were too much to bear. She allowed Raven's words to sink in, but then blinked back to attention when he suddenly cursed and muttered about babbling while quickly lighting up a cigarette. With a drifting sigh, Jayda turned around and hoisted herself up to sit upon the railing of the balcony and muddled over all he said for a moment, but decided to comment on another matter instead. ”Ya know, Raven, givin' sum advice when it's most needed don' mean yer all babbly. Whay hells bells, I can't geyt Shadey tah say more than a sentence half the tyme. Yew know her... she's all the “suck it up and jus' dew it” type. Seems tah be her philosophy fer ev'rythin'”


She shrugged slightly began to swing her legs casually back and forth while looking to the ground and thinking a bit more. “But all yew've sed does make sense, Raven. Ah always took it as thinkin' bout whuts most important tew yew as the opposite, ya know? Makin' ya too darn nervous cuz yer too darn scared of screwin' up. Sew maybe iffin Ah start thinkin' it the way yew put it, I won't be so timid layk sum rabbit cornered in a wolf's den....” When her simile came across her lips, Jayda slid a glance at Raven taking another drag off of his cigarette. It wasn't that smoking bothered Jayda at all, it was the fact that she was always concerned over everyone else's welfare. And now that Raven was part of their family, well..... she couldn't be some timid rabbit, now could she?


So as Jayda casually rolled her eyes away to gaze at the stars, she swiftly raised up her hand without aiming and flicked his cigarette away from his mouth and out of his fingers to go tumbling over the balcony while she continued to look away as if nothing happened at all. "Hmm..... I wunders iffin that thar be the north star...."

Raven nervously pulled the smoke in from the cigarette as Jayda spoke. What she said was right, and he knew it. He just couldn't get past that social barrier that made him want to lock his mouth up tight and not speak anymore. Revealing things to people is letting them into who you are. It's trusting them with a part of you and Raven had been burnt by that too many times before to allow that to happen again. But this felt good. It was nice to actually talk to someone for once. He was surrounded by people who looked to him to be strong, to lead them through the worst of the worst, but with Jayda, he felt like he could just let it go.

"Who's teaching who now?" Raven turned around to lean his butt against the balcony as Jayda swung her feet back and forth. "Shade has her reasons for being the way she is. Plus genetics really put us at a disadvantage in the social department." He pulled the cigarette away from his mouth and allowed the smoke to fly freely out into the cool night air. He listened to Jayda as she continued. He was glad she was able to find solace in his advice. At least someone found it useful. A smirk cracked across his face, "You're not a rabbit, Jayda. You're more like a... a... puppy. Timid and shy, but willing to bare your teeth if you have to."

He took another drag from his cigarette but as he was doing so, Jayda reached up and flicked the cigarette out of his grasp. He watched as the soft orange glow of the cigarette grew smaller and smaller as it fell into darkness until it completely disappeared. His eyes shot up to Jayda in disbelief. "You do realize that if you were any other person I'd be shoving you off this balcony right now, right? Raven let out an audible sigh before looking up at the sky and saying, "I believe you are right, that is the north star."

Raven reached instinctively for the cigarette box again but caught himself. His mouth twitched downwards in a frown for a split second before he pulled his hand back. He looked at Jayda and said, "I want the rabbit back," before bursting into a big grin.

With a wide eyed blink, Jayda gave Raven one of those toothy, cheesy smiles that was meant to be overly dramatic and went "Woof!" before chuckling softly and giving her head a slight shake and speaking seriously again with a genuine smile back on her face. "Aw now, Raven.... Ah ain't meanin' tah take yer patience fer granted er nuthin'. Yew know darn tootin' those smokey sticks ain't good fer ya. An' besides...." Once again, her gaze slowly wandered to the sky all nonchalant like as she swayed from side to side on her perch upon the railing. "Ah culdn't halp but promise tew certain lil' girls that Ah wuld at least try tew knock a few off ya now an' then." Only her eyes slid back to Raven for a moment before slowly rolling away again with one of those, "oops, did I just I say that out loud?" looks, then gave herself a push to land on her feet with a little hop.


While brushing off her hands and clothes a bit, Jayda was back to speaking in her usual cheerful demeanor. "Ya know whut' Raven? Whut yew sed thar 'bout gee-netics puttin' yew and Shadey at a social disadvantage just reminded meh 'bout sumthin!" She turned to Raven again with a hint of uncertainty etched across her brow as if struggling over what she wanted to say. Well, she knew what she wanted to say, it was the "how" of going about it being that she knew it was a touchy subject.


So with a breath of that puppy confidence, she held up a finger as she spoke again. "Now... jus' bear with meh fer a second, cuz I gawts meh a good reason fer bringin' this up...." There was still a knowing smile behind her bright eyes, but also due the fact that what she spoke of was heart felt for herself as well. "Ah gawts a bit more of an understandin' I guess since Ah grew up with Shade, but yew know whut else? It's also cuz I was given a bit o' a hint frum mah daddy." She gave a wink before pulling out an old revolver style gun from the holster at her waist and began cleaning it with a small cloth tucked within one of the pouches of her belt simply to give her hands something to do. "He once sed sumthin' 'bout Mr. Squall bein' all serious all the tyme, n'vr talkin' much, an' most people bein' way too intimidated 'round him. But ya know whut mah daddy sed? He sed jus' cuz sum folks don't open up with werds, don' mean they're so ruff an' tuff. He sed sumtimes thar be folks who's actions speak fer them, rath'r than werds. Lyke when mah daddy froze up an' culdn't shoot when they wus suppos'd tah assassinate that Sorceress...."


She took a brief pause and looked away with a pinched look. "Ain't that a funny werd.... ass-ass-inate? How's a werd lyke that supposed tew sound all scary lyke?"


With a sudden shake of her head, Jayda let out a small sigh, but her smile remained as she returned to her recollections of how her father often joked about his own "choking" days in his youth. "He sed Mr. Squall n'vr gawt mad at him, n'vr yelled at him, nuthin' layk that. Just calmly tellin' mah daddy to just shoot. Thar was no pressurin' him, no lecturin' him. Ya see... it was Mr. Squall's way o' sayin' whether mah daddy hit his mark er' not, it wuld be okay, cuz they'd just move on and do whut needed done whatev'r the outcome wuld be." With a chipper smile, Jayda spun the weapon about on her finger before she whipped the revolver back into it's holster. "Sew ya see? Ain't no gee-netic bug, Raven! Yew and Shadey jus' have a different way o' bein' social, is all. That's jus' how Ah see it!" She gave a slight shrug of her shoulders to brush off any awkwardness left for bringing up such a sensitive story, but she held no regrets for doing so. But she figured for Raven, the best thing to do right now was to get back into the game. So with a skip to the door, she turned around again with an eager grin. "Now I needs sum help with that annoyin' kick back problem! Can't verah well be landin' on mah bum ev'ry taym Ah shoot at sumthin' can Ah?"

Raven just smirked and shook his head at Jayda. He couldn't help it, she just had that air about her that just made it impossible for anyone to stay mad at her long. He just shook his head and pushed her hat down over her eyes when she "woofed," hiding all of her face except the toothy grin she was giving him. It didn't help that she said that the only reason she had knocked his cigarette away was for his daughters. He knew he should probably stop smoking, but it was such a hard habit to quit. Maybe he'd just cut back a little...

He glanced up at the stars as Jayda jumped down from her spot on the railing. He missed just looking up at the night sky on Pulse. He noticed that no matter what world he was on, the night sky was nearly the same. His gaze snapped down to Jayda, though, as she spoke up again about what he said. His eyebrow slowly raised as Jayda began dancing around the subject, like it was touchy for her. That wasn't like her. He watched her as she began to speak about her father and what he said about Shade and his own father. As she spoke, she seemed to gain more and more confidence on the matter. As her confidence grew, though, his began to waver. Speaking about his father was always weird for him because he had never truly met the man. He had nothing to base what was being said upon.

But what Jayda said was comforting. The thought that his father's worst quality wasn't so bad helped Raven in more ways than one. When Jayda finished speaking, Raven stared at her for a moment longer, thinking of what to say. Finally he settled on, "Your father was a wise man. Thank you."

It was then that Jayda skipped over to the door and joking told him she needed help with the recoil. He genuinely smiled and with a chuckle said, "I don't know... It's kinda funny to watch. Can we let you keep doing it a little while longer? Raven walked past her towards the training center in the mood to shoot something again.

Meanwhile.... within the control room.....

“Um.... Headmaster...?”

Shade completely ignored the SeeD still sitting at the Panel as he stammered and fidgeted with a nervous glance as Shade leaned over to slide in a disc into the drive and began typing adjustments into the program.

“Madam Shade..... he's going to kill me.....”

With the new program set, Shade straightened her spine and stood motionless with her fingertip tapping beside the “Enter” button as her gaze watched the empty Training Center below. Meanwhile, the cadet remained in his chair practically pulling out his brown hair from the strain of his stress and fears. With a roll of her eyes, Shade dismissed him from his duties, and the young man tore out of the Observation room as if a T-Rex were hot on his heels. She continued to wait without a blink and in total silence until she saw Fury and Jayda finally emerge from the borderline of trees within the training section, which was her cue to softly press the “Enter” button.....


Back within the Training grounds.....

Jayda stood at doorway leading back to Training Center with her eyes widened and a stupefied expression upon her face by Fury's bout of humor. It wasn't that seeing or hearing him crack a joke that caught her. They often threw a joke or two around in the past. But it was the fact that she suspected there was a bit of truth in his words. And as she followed behind him, her hands busied themselves at straightening her hat upon her head as she mumbled loud enough for him to hear. “Well it ain't THAT funny, Mr. 'Ah gawts me big ol' muskels as big as tree trunks sew Ah don' ev'n flicnch when Ah fires me a big ol' gun'....” She managed to catch up to Fury, now walking side by side as they ventured through the scattered tree line and back upon the main path that would initially activate the motion sensors for the training system to kick back online. What suddenly appeared before Fury and Jayda just feet away upon the trail was a massive Marlboro monster with it's countless vines whipping about.


She froze instantly with her eyes shot wide while staring up at the gargantuan creature that was one of the most impossible to kill, and after a second or two of complete silence, Jayda screamed to the top of her lungs as she whipped her arms up to reach the back of shoulders to swing out her twin rifles and fired. The simultaneous blast of both weapons sent her petite frame soaring back through the air to land with a tumbling roll backwards across the dirt trail to finally come to a sitting stop on her bum with her hat completely fallen over her face.

While back within the control room, Shade gave a twitching smirk as she huffed a chuckle through her nose while slowly shaking her head. ”Gets her every time...”

Raven let out a laugh when Jayda mumbled the line about him having massive muscles. He had to admit, he hadn't heard that one before. Most everyone always went with the straightforward "You're a hardass" to him. It was a refreshing change of pace being with Jayda. Instead of having to focus on a goal or even be a focal point for others to follow, he could just relax because it seemed that no matter what one did to her she just couldn't be shaken.

Unless, of course, it came to a giant mutated plant in front of her.

Raven had barely gotten out of the trees and recognized the threat when Jayda screamed. He reached down to grab his pistols but before he could have them drawn all the way, Jayda was shooting her shotguns at the vine-beast. He watched as she was sent flying from the recoil of the shot, only to land on her rump with her hat down over her eyes. The irony of the scene didn't escape Raven, but he didn't have time to stop and laugh. He leaped at the Marlboro with both revolvers raised. The Malboro roared at him as he jumped at it, giving him the opportunity he needed to fire a few shots into it's exposed mouth, hopefully causing it some pain.

The Malboro screeched again in pain before spitting dissolving acid at the Jayda, who was still trying to get her hat out of her eyes. Raven turned and leaped in the way of it, taking the full brunt of the blow to his back. He winced as the acid began to eat away at his vest and stung his skin. He stood there breathing heavy for a moment before turning around to face the beast and saying, "Ok... now I'm mad...

He pulled out the Lion's Pride and began slashing away at vines as he approached the large head. He leaped once more at the beast and his sword dug deep into the top of it's head. It thrashed and spun, trying to throw him off, but the sword was in too deep. Raven reached down and grabbed a grenade from his belt and activated it before tossing it in the screaming Malboro's mouth and kicking off it's head to land next to Jayda with his sword up. He held his hand out to Jayda to help her up from the ground and said, "My 'muskels' aren't just for shooting, Miss."

By the time Jayda lifted the rim of her hat up from her eyes, Fury was already in the heat of the action. Once again, she stared at him with that same previous dumbfounded expression over her face by his swift actions and tactics she never would have thought of on her own.. Who'da thunk to throw a grenade in the damn thing's mouth!?

Still, Jayda couldn't help but feel a wave of disappointment in herself.

She panicked....

If this had been a real situation; had Fury or any of the others not been in her company, the massive poisonous fiend would have done her in, in mere seconds.


By the time Fury had his fun filled vengeance and was offering his hand to hoist Jayda back on her feet, she at least had to offer him a weak smile through her embarressment at his effort to keep the moment humorous. With a soft sigh, she took his hand and stood back up to then dust herself off. " Seems layk Ah needs more than muckles, Raven. Gawtta geyt meh sum decent reflexes, too, Ah s'pose...."


Just then, the training program activated again. Both a Ruby dragon and a Blue dragon landed upon the ground just a few yards away, shaking the entire Center to its core and trembling the walls with both fiends letting out an ear shattering roar simultaneously. Meanwhile, within the control room, Shade lounged back within the cadet's chair with her boots propped up upon the ledge of the Panel while she cleaned off her crossbow weapon with a soft hum in her throat.

Fury frowned as Jayda mae another quip at herself as he helped her to her feet. "Quit kicking yourself. You beat me to the draw. You just need to-" He was interrupted by the simulator's shaking as two very large dragons appeared and roared in anger at them. Fury turned to face them and said, "Here you go... I can't take both of them on so stand up, buck up, and kill the blue over sized lizard. I'm going to take care of the red one. Try not to upstage me."

Fury drew out his assault rifle from his back and fired the grappling hook at the ruby dragon's head just as it began to roar again at them. The steel hook dug deep into the dragon's nose, angering it and causing it to thrash about. He flicked a switch on the side of the gun and the grappling hook began pulling him towards the beast, swinging him wildly through the air as it thrashed.

Finally, his feet found purchase on the base of the dragon's head. He stood up straight and using the grappling hook as a bridle, began to unload the clip of ammunition into the back of the monster's head. Again it began to thrash as it took off from the ground in anger, planning to smash him up against the ceiling. Just before the beast struck its head off the roof, Fury rolled off, hanging at the end of the rope in front of the two-way mirror that led to the observation room. He knew that no one in the Garden had the balls to actually throw something lie this at them, especially not the young cadet he had seen in there when he was there earlier. That left only his sister...

Fury raised his middle finger on his right hand towards the observation booth while keeping a deadpan look on his face.

The dragon realized he had been duped and swung its head about viciously, sending Fury flying across the room. He crashed in a heap against the wall, temporarily breaking the simulator where he struck. He lay there a moment before standing up and rolling his neck as the dragon landed in front of him, baring all of it's gangrenous teeth. Fury pulled his revolver out and calmly started to load the bullets into it. The dragon got impatient and roared a terrible roar so Fury responded, "Calm down. I'll get to you in a minute."

The dragon pounced at him and his hand shot up to fire at it as it did so...

Jayda practically balked at the sight of both dragons landing with a thunderous crash to the ground... two.... TWO!? Was there a glitch in the system!? She shook her head to snap herself back to attention and turned about to snatch up her rifles from the ground as Raven was dishing out a plan. "Upstage yew?" A humorous giggle escaped her as she snapped the barrels of her guns shut and nodded with cheesy smile. "Whay awright, Mr. Raven.... Ah'll take that ah challenge!"


Just as Raven aimed and fired to piss off his target, the blue dragon came charging directly for Jayda. With a cool and confident hand, the weight of the rifle weighed mostly against her arm, she aimed right for an eyeball and calmly pulled the trigger with a playful smirk upon her lips.

Click!

Her eyes blinked in shock... "SHYT!" Then her eyes widened by her own slip of words as her other hand slapped over her mouth, but just as quickly as she reacted over her accidental cursing, she reacted just as quickly to the charging dragon nearly upon her. The creature released a bellowing roar from it's mouth....Jayda screamed to the top of her lungs....then all went silent when the fiend reached her. Within the observation room, Shade jumped to her feet in alarm and leaned over the panel to see Jayda bracing her shotgun vertically within the beast's giant maw which was lodged and pinned against its tongue and the roof of its mouth.

It seemed to be a momentary shock for the both of them as the chaos of the other fight carried on around them until the beast's saliva began to drip down on Jayda's arm and hands. "EEEEEeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Shade slammed the side of her fist against the large window and shouted for Jayda to shoot even though her comrade would never hear her through the thick glass. Still, Jayda blinked at the goo running down her hands and suddenly realized.... "Ah can shoot!" She pulled the trigger once more, and this time the weapon did fire, exploding through the top of the dragon's snout which sent the beast rearing back and roaring with pain. Jayda jolted into action, running toward the fiend and sliding to her knees before the dragon could veer toward the ground again and fired with her other rifle to send another explosion into its chest. The beast screamed again, and the force of the shot and pain lurched the dragon back on it's hind legs, and at that very moment, Jayda hoisted herself up on one knee with her aim already set and fired again into the creature's stomach. The final shot sent the fiend hurling backwards to collapse against the ground which gave Jayda the moment to reload her weapons.


Seeing her brother flip her off only made Shade even more amused. Had he not taken the chance to do so, she may have been quite disappointed in Raven. Since he couldn't see her through the mirror side, she returned the very same deadpan look and stuck out her tongue right before his body was flung across the room like a rag doll.


But Jayda didn't find any amusement over the situation, nor seeing Raven crash into the wall. Fearing such a blow caused more harm than it did, Jayda rushed towards him while aiming one of her rifles to fire at the fiend simply to keep it distracted while Raven calmly reloaded. Her round missed entirely as the dragon pounced, Raven aimed, and Jayda leaped toward him, snatching a metal AMP disk from his vest to fling into the bottom of the dragon's neck like a frisbee just before she landed against the ground with a tumbling roll to get out of the way. In fluid motion with the roll, Jayda brought up her other rifle and released another round at the side of the dragon's head just in case it still reached Raven before he could fire.