Poppy and Pursia

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Subject: Poppy and Pursia Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:10 pm

Okay, so me and Tifa each have a cat. They're practically twins by appearance and by what stories we share about them to each other.

So we figured the two would be the best of friends if we actually lived closer to each other, and this idea sprung up in my head. What if Tifa's Poppy and my Pursia could actually write to each other?

So this is what we came up with....

Dear Poppy,

How are you today? I hope you are doing much better than me. Do owners in England appreciate their cats? Well let me warn you now, Americans don't seem to.

My owner can't seem to get it through her head that I can NOT stand the bed being unmade, no matter how HARD I try to train her! I mean, just how hard is to take 1 minute out of their ridiculously lazy human time to just make the bed nice and neat so I can get some sleep around here? Is that really too much to ask for?

And she only washes out my water dish ONCE a day! Really? Does she drink out of the SAME glass all day long? No she does not. But I have to?

Geesh ><

Hope everything is going better for you across the Atlantic

Love, Pursia

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:50 pm

Dearest Pursia,

I can't tell you how irritated I am with my Human right now. I've been telling her all night that my bowl is empty, but would she listen? No.

And don't get me started on the litter tray... at least she can flush her toilet!

And since we're talking about training those idiot humans of ours, have you tried that technique of waking her up yet? You know, the one where you just poke out one perfectly manicured claw and just tap her cheek with it? Well, mine hasn't got the hang of it yet, so I've moved up to the whole paw and just slapping her face. *sigh* One day we will win this war. One day.

Love, Poppy =^.^=

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:29 pm

Dearest Poppy,

I am so sorry to hear about the neglect you suffer. Unfortunately, the last time I'm tried waking my owner in the same way, she threatened to have me de-clawed! >< I dare not take the chance again *sadkittyfaceinsertedhere*

I'm rather surprised to hear about the litter pan problem, but count your blessings!! I have to tolerate FOUR dogs in the house I live in, and two of them are obsessed with my litterbox! >< Most disgusting creatures in the world and I have to live with them eating my poop! Just EEWWWwwwww!!!! How do humans like dogs after knowing THAT?

Oh..... and the younger human slammed his bedroom door on my tail yesterday *sadmews* I think it's going to be crooked for a month! Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the kink out without having to go to the vet?

Much appreciated, and with love,
Pursia

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:56 pm

Dearest Pursia,

My tolerance is being stretched to its limits today. My idiot human took a long bubble bath and had the audacity to shut the door! Can you imagine? How dare she! Of course I sat outside and notified her of this loudly over and over again but did she get out and let me in? No! I had to scratch at the door and try to push the thing open with my paw. I almost broke a claw T_T

In the end she got out and let me in, but by that point I'd lost interest and was playing with my shadow. At least she understands my needs.

I hope you get treated better than this.

Love, Poppy =^.^=

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:42 am

Dearest Poppy,

I'm sorry I haven't written back sooner, but you probably understand how humans hog the internet all to themselves just because they have stupid thumbs =><=

Anyhoo.... you will not believe the time I've had since we last talked. I actually got into a fight with a DOG! =o.o= And it was the big one too! I know that sounds careless and foolish, but I just snapped! I am sick and tired of that overgrown drool fest barging into MY room and eating MY WET FOOD! So I unleashed my claws and swatted and rawred and chased that mongrel of wasted fur out of my room and scared the gutless gluteousmaximus straight under my human's bedside night stand!

I don't know what the humans found so damn funny =-.-= Perhaps it was over that stupid dog's chattering teeth. I kid you not, that big oaf's jaw was shaking so bad, her teeth were chattering up a storm. So HA! to that dog.... MY WET FOOD!

Then yet another incident to make me shed ten times more than I normally do from all the cursed stress I endure. So I'm wandering about the attic. My most favorite place to stalk and play.... and I get ATTACKED! =O.O= I have no idea where it came it from, save from behind! It attatched itself to me and made the most horrible "whooshing" sound that had me running terrified down the stairs, leaping up against doors and walls, then down more stairs until I leaped behind the couch for cover! .........Whatever it was STILL had its clutches around me and when I saw my human peer over the edge, I leaped right on that table just yelling at her for this insolence!!

I still have no idea what the hell a plastic bag is, but stay away from them, Poppy! They are ruthless! These creatures grab you and never let go! *whimpers*...... I need my catnip..... =V.V=

Hope all has been going better for you!
*sending mice treats from across the vast deep waters*
Persia

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:41 pm

Dearest Pursia

Oh, I've had my share of encounters with those things. They attach themselves to your neck so firmly that they are impossible to shake off. And of course, my Human thinks this is hilarious and insists on calling me SuperCat because she thinks it looks like a cape.

And good job with the dog! Thankfully, the only time I have to endure a dog eating my food is when my Humans sister comes over with her great big slobbering lump of raw energy. I don't understand why she insists on making such a fuss when he comes over, all that happens is that he gets more and more excited until he starts howling. What a god-awful noise that is.

And now for my news. I can NOT believe this happened to me today. So my Human got this new bin for her kitchen. This thing has one of those flappy panel lids that make it much easier for me to see inside. I thought "How considerate of her"

Anyway, yesterday she cooked chicken teriyaki for dinner. The smell of the chicken cooking as she sploshed all kinds of stuff in the pan was just divine. Then she sat down to eat and it looked so good, I was worried that she might forget about me and I wouldn't get any. So I did my usual thing and sat on her leg and put my front paws on those big wobbly things she calls 'boobs'.

But alas, this didn't work. She normally can't resist this and I get my chicken. So I had to step it up a notch. I put my paw on her chin and tried to snag the chicken as she put it in her mouth. You'd think she'd appreciate the extra effort, but no. All I got was one measly piece. The rice was nice though.

But today, I could smell the same smell coming from the new bin. WHAT LUCK! She had thrown the leftovers in there! I looked in and couldn't see it, so there was only one thing for it... I hopped in there and hunted it out! I munched down one bit while I was in there, but there was something yucky under my paw so I took another piece and hopped out with it.

But, alas again! My Human walked in at that exact moment and I was forced to run away and hide under the dining table with it. But she followed me. SHE FOLLOWED ME!! Can you believe this?? I hunted that chicken down and I wasn't about to give it up easily! She ended up on her hands and knees, trying to tug my lunch out of my mouth. I managed to hold onto one part of it but the rest was cruelly taken from me.

I have never been so insulted in all my life!

Love, Poppy =^.^=

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:58 pm

Dearest Poppy,

I know it's been quite awhile since we've written to each other, but do I have a whopper of a cat-tale for you!

So my humans took in another cat today... ANOTHER cat! Can you believe it!?

I mean, they already have ME! WHY would they get another one!? I was just absolutely insulted!

I don't care if this guy is cute...with gorgeous green eyes.... and thick snuggly fur.... He's stupid. Wanna know how I know he's stupid? Because the dumbass ran off into the attic like scare-dy cat just because I hissed at him... THEN guess what he did!?

He FELL down in between the WALLS!

Oh what a laugh!! I just sat in the attic while my humans went frantic trying to free this dolt FIRST from being stuck in the corner beneath the roof and the attic, but boy did he tear my human lady's arms apart when she tried to pry his fuzzy ass out of there. He escaped and ran off again, and this is where the clutz went ZOOM! down the walls!

So for HOURS I watched the humans and their offspring try to locate him, running up and down the stairs, as my lady human nearly slipped down as well from leaning down through the attic floor so far. Finally, they located this twit for a cat and had to tear out the wall to one of the bedroom closets and VOILA! There he was! Smushed like a damn pancake in between the beams of this old house just as stupid as the very minute he came here. He was SO stupid, he tried climbing back IN the walls and it took a dog leash and the male human's big leather belt tied around this dumbass to get him out!

Oh how I laughed! Please tell me the males in your country are smarter than this!!

Forever yours,
Pursia =^.^=

Subject: Re: Poppy and Pursia Thu Aug 30, 2012 6:59 pm

Dearest Pursia,

Dear god, what was your human thinking? ANOTHER CAT??? AND A MALE???!!!!

I always knew that males were incredibly stupid, but this just proves my theory. I hope you continue to show him who's boss!

The Humans next door now have a puppy who just LOVES to climb over the fence and come see MY human. I'm not kidding, the dog just has to hear my Human coming out of her door and the stupid animal goes nuts and starts quivering with excitement. And of course, my Human likes to encourage this and frequently has the dog over in MY garden to play fetch.

And as if that wasn't bad enough... the puppy likes to come find me and LICK MY FACE. Outrageous! My Human thinks this is adorable and encourages this too!! Oh, the humiliation...

And she runs inn MY house and eats MY food. And the hamsters food too, but I really don't care about that fluffball's food supply.

OMG! I just spotted a moth I need to catch. I have to go!

Love, Poppy =^.^=