Home on the Range (Open Ses-a-me)

Jonathan aimed down the sights of his two pistols and angled them slightly, each just enough so that bullets fired from either gun would hit their mark. In his usual fashion, he pulled each trigger in alternating fashion, but something was wrong. Or rather, still wrong. Ever since he'd arrived in this place something had prevented him from using both guns at once. Sometimes this little mess would go as far as locking one of the pistols in the holster, despite there being no adhesive on either the gun or the regularly-polished leather. Most of the time, like now, one of the guns simply would not fire. It would click like it was out of ammunition, or seemingly jam, despite the fact that neither event had any kind of catalyst. Frustrated, Jonathan slammed both pistols on the wooden counter in front of him, wondering just what could have possibly gone wrong. He picked up the offending gun, dropped the clip from it, and counted the rounds. Fifteen in the clip, just as always. Reloading the clip, he pulled the slide back and took aim with the singular pistol. He pulled the trigger five times, and heard five gunshots. "I just don't get it," he said out loud to himself. "It works fine on its own, so why not with its partner?"

(Yo, dawg, I heard you like short posts, so I got you a short post to match your short post!)

"Well, friend, I could tell you, but, it wouldn't make sense."

The red-wrapped giant, the mighty Gilgamesh strode in through the door of the Hikaru Dome's prep center. The enchantments on the place manifested his weapons, the Genji Blade and his Naginata taking their place in a holding rack on the wall. Looking over his shoulder, the Ancient Man of Mystery continued.

"You're practically shouting, so I couldn't help but overhear. So, cursed to only single-wield, eh?"

...Gilgamesh had never liked guns. Or mechanical weapons of any kind, for that matter. Too many moving parts, too prone to failure. Sure, you got range, but, in addition to the multiple points of failure, firearms and the like cheapened combat. Stole its meaning.

"It's a blessing in disguise, y'know. Dual-wielding anything effectively, ESPECIALLY firearms, demands focus most people can't maintain. ...Not to mention your accuracy drops nearly to nil, if you fire simultaneously. Not a big deal with an uzi. Slightly bigger with revolvers."

...He couldn't help but wonder why you'd ever dual-wield pistols, anyway. How're you supposed to aim?

Jonathan swiftly pivoted and aimed his gun at the newcomer in one smooth, practiced motion. Only when he saw that the person was unarmed did he lower his gun. "Who the hell are you?" he asked, suspicious. He did, in a way, acknowledge the comment about dual-wielding and focus with his next comment. "Only an idiot sneaks up on a pilot." Most pilots Jonathan had come across during his brief stint with the mercenary group Knight Squadron, had hair-trigger reactions whenever someone sneaked up on them, especially from behind. It had something to do with always watching the backside of the ship. Without a turret gunner for the rear (which was only present on heavier ships such as attackers and bombers), most pilots became paranoid about that ghost blip on their screen after a few years flying in heavy combat. Jonathan wasn't quite at that point himself, but he still didn't like it when people sneaked up behind him.

((I forgot my original plan for this post and went with this instead lol.))

...At DeLauren's inability to recognize him, Gilgamesh was utterly flabbergasted! Surely, he was so famous as to not need an introduction! ...He HAD one, of course, but, he rarely has to use it.

"Okay, wait, so, you're saying you don't know me? Wow, talk about rare. Especially for a world-walker! ...Or, I guess, world-flyer, in your case, buzz boy."

At that, Gilgamesh leapt back into the shadows, the massive zanbato disappearing from the wall. ...GODS, he loved doing this bit. It was just so chock full of ham and cheese. Never has there been a more delicious sandwich of the creative mind, and, it was a dish Gilgamesh had mastered over the many years of his long life. He was as much a warrior as a showman.

For no apparent reason at all, mannequins made of bamboo and straw mats spontaneously began to exist in the prep hall. Taking his moment, Gilgamesh leapt from the shadows, in front of one of the mannequins.

"I am he who walks the Rift!" He exclaimed, before cleanly bisecting the mannequin. Tucking against himself, he rolled with great agility (for his size) to the next mannequin, the zanbato trading places with the naginata. Rising, Gil cleanly sliced through the center and arm of the rudimentary mannequin.

"I am the man which seeks the myriad arms of legend! I am the greatest swordman in-"

Switching back and forth between the two weapons, Gil leapt from one strawman to the next, landing in a classical Kabuki pose before displaying great swordsmanship on each target. His strike punctuated every place name he spoke.

"Cornelia! Palamecia! The Floating Continent! Baron! Planet R! The World of Balance! Gaea! Galbadia! Terra! Spira! Vana'diel! Ivalice! Gran Pulse!"

His last leap brought him to a stop in front of the workbench Jonathan was fiddling with his guns at. Brandishing his Naginata, he fell into a stance that was more show than threat. Naginata pointed behind him, the bottom-most point, furthest from the blade, resting against his lef heel. He stood with his body angled slightly to the right, his free hand facing palm-first at Jon, fingers splayed in a classic Kabuki style as he rolled his head about his shoulders once, twice, three times.

"I am the Ancient Man of Mystery! I am the mighty Gilgamesh!"

Locking his own, featurless white eyes with Jon's, he finished.

"FEAR ME IF YOU DARE!"

Jonathan holstered his pistol carefully, very taken aback at the strange man's elaborate introduction. "I'm afraid I don't have anything quite so flashy to introduce myself with," he said, pretending to take it all in stride. "But, I might as well tell you who I am, since you went to all that trouble." He held out his hand, in the fashion of the military. "Lieutenant-Captain Jonathan DeLauren of Shadowcat Squadron. Zener Republic Star Navy, callsign: Seraph. Nice to meet you." He used his left hand to grab and holster the other pistol and waited for acknowledgement.

((Ran out of time to type much more.))

(Wow, sorry I didn't get to this sooner. It's been nearly a month! Also, my apologies, but, this won't be up to my usual standards, probably. Kinda not feeling it.)

Feeling he'd made enough of a spectacle, Gilgamesh let his weapons return to the wall rack, as he sat down opposite of Jonathan.

Truth be told, much of his boisterousness was an act. World-weary, and all. But, he acted very well. As such, none suspected his tiredness. Smiling widely, he resumed his initial line of conversation.

"So, you're a Space Marine, huh? Got any spare Omni-Blades?"

Chortling loudly at a joke only he would get, he examined DeLauren's weapons of choice. ...It still made no sense, to him. You need two hands to load and fire a pistol of any kind, reliably. Granted, with clip-fed or magazine=fed firearms, there were ways around this, but, they were usually not worth the trouble. Dual-wielding them made no sense, unless you had access to a few dozen for each hand. And, even then, there are more powerful handguns, anyway.

"Right. So, you're confused about dual-wielding, then?"